On Freedom

Youth without freedom is love without insanity or breath without air.

Freedom, to me, is a state of mind. No boundary or fence can violate it, nor can however, the lack of these ensure its existance. A recent, possible infringment of what I would consider a right of my youth, set me thinking. I wonder if anyone is truly free. Not just free from shackles of imposed subservience of slavery or the taught humbleness of colonial rule- but truly free- free to sail through life, and at every moment, have the ability to take decisions that are unaffected by another's opinion, desire, want or need. To be bound by nothing but the circle of your own future and your past.

Responsiblity seems to curbs freedom. Responsibility to parents, to children, to wives, to friends, to employers, to society. Even perhaps your responsibility to your own future. It almost seems selfish to desire freedom. How can that be?

I try to think of the last truly free semi important decision I've made in life- My job? No I had to get one of those. My career path? No- I my job shaped that. My choice of degree? No, I had to make a rational decision for that. Its scary. Maybe its just a reflection of my circumstantially influenced life. Maybe its the same for everyone.

But I find it worrying, that, if pure freedom can give you true happiness and satisfaction, how is it that we survive everyday, making small sacrifices of our freedom here and there, and to this and that? Does it mean, to enjoy freedom's sweet taste, a life of solitude and detachment must be lead?

Is it a fair bargain? Society or freedom? Love or freedom? Family or freedom? Is this an eternal struggle?

Two weeks

This feeling- a right of the 20s,
An excitement filled with trepidation,
A wrong that couln't be more right,
The day has never shined so bright.

You pull, I resist.
You approach, I run.
You relent, I persist,
You desist, I pursue.

Will it end?
Has it even begun?
Or will it fade away,
As distance and time laugh in between.

Is it you,
Or the thought of you?
Do you just fill a gap,
Or did you create it?

Did I leave one cave,
just to rush into another?
Is it you?
Or art, expert by experience?

Am I falling?
Or crashing?
Are you wondering?
Are you still searching?

Your eyes have seen,
what I'm yet to see.
Will you encourage me still, or stifle me?
You belong to my soul's generation - not my body's.

I'm playing with fire,
but feel immune.
my time has come I say,
this dog too shall have its day.

But have I the strength that will be needed?
Or am I going to search for defences ?
Will I care what the stage thinks?
If I ever get to act with you.

I thought time was my friend,
Now I fear him.
The possible cloud he casts,
Over my vision of the future.

I'm not ready yet,
to let go.
Were you here?
Or just your shadow.

You're big enough to hold me,
but are you small enough to accept me?

Two weeks betters none,
Two seconds greater than one.
You will be down in the books,
Wherever sets the sun.

Leaves freeze,
Unmoving, sealed to the branch.
Moonlight,
Still and calm.
Don't let me slip away.
Won't you watch the sun rise again?
and set the leaves free.

Dont let me slip away.
Dont let me slip away.